Jessica Lynn

My day ended just as it started- miserable. I woke up to the one thing that can ruin an entire day: my mother on the phone talking as loud as humanly possible all  while I’m out sleeping in the living room. And then when I finally did wake up she responded with “you know I’m always on the phone in the morning.” Fine. But do you really need to scream your conversations in the same room people are sleeping in?! I’ve given up on trying to talk or reason with her because she just doesn’t fucking get it. It’s like I speak a different language or something. Honestly, she just doesn’t care at all about anyone other than herself. It’s times like today that make me so glad I can just leave and go home to my dad’s. But I’m still not completely happy there either. My dad is never home really and it kind of bothers me that I have to go out and get myself dinner every night across the street because him and his girlfriend go out to dinner by themselves. But I guess it’s better than him being irresponsible and drunk every day.

I still can’t figure out what’s wrong with me though. I feel depressed majority of the time and I don’t know why. I’m easily irritated and I’ve been having some really bad mood swings. I’ve been distant, too, from pretty much everyone. I need something to change. I need a break from this routine. That’s why I’ve been wanting school to start so badly. Yes, school is technically going to be a routine but I’ll be meeting new people and I’ll be able to be a part of different things. I’m also going to be working my butt off to save up money to maybe next year rent an apartment closer to school. It’s something I’m aiming towards being able to do, at least.

Basically, I need a change of pace, and fast. Before I completely lose it.